i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
