He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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