Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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