My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
