Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
