WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
