the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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