You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
