My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
