She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
