she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
