At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
