Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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