I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
