i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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