Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
