So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
