Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
