he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
