Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
