While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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