I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
