He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Damn victory sex feels great
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