Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
