Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
