Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my phone needs a breathalizer
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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