So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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