Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize