what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
