I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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