his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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