cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
