I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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