Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
