I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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