Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
