i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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