the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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