I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
