let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
