why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
