Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
