he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
