Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
