what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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