How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
