The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
