i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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