yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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