i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
