Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
