3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
