So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
