Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
