If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
