Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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