Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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