Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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