I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize