There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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