I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
